


"And I oop..."

by AmazingElie, CrystalandTragix



Category: Smosh
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2020-10-13 16:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingElie/pseuds/AmazingElie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalandTragix/pseuds/CrystalandTragix
Summary: So, my amazing girlfriend wrote this, but I got to post it cause ao3 was annoying her, so without further ado, a Wamien fic. It's me and her fave rare pair ship. Don't fuck with me,  I have the power of God and anime on my side, AHHHHH.





	1. And They Were Roommates

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmazingElie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingElie/gifts).

> This IS an AU so I will be taking some liberties with character direction. I'm trying my best to keep everyone's actions accurate for what they would do in real life, so let me know if I write someone out of character. Also this takes place in the summer of 2020, so you better believe I'm going to do a Smosh Summer Games storyline. We do not own Smosh or anyone mentioned in this fic. Anyhoo, this has been Elie (and a little be of Sara aka Crystal), over and out.
> 
> This is Sara, dont talk shit on this or I'll come to your house and make soup bowls out of your kneecaps. Only love, support, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is allowed in the comments.

~Damien POV~

"Wes? Weeeees?" My voice rang clear through our apartment. "Hey, I'm leaving for work soon, and I oop-" I tripped and fell onto Wes.  
Fortunately, he broke my fall.  
Unfortunately, my lips were planted squarely on his.  
It felt like it took an eternity to process this. In bewilderment, I remained there on the ground and on his lips.

~Wes POV~  
Damien rolled off of me and started spouting a sea of sorries as I automatically helped him up.  
"Damien." I calmly, but firmly interrupted him. "It's fine." I subconsciously tucked my hair behind my ears. "What did you need to tell me?"  
"Uh... uhm... oh! I'll be home late because of reshoots and script meetings, but I made us salads for lunch, so I put yours in the fridge next to the dressing."  
"Alright, cool. Thanks man." As I left the room, I turned around to assure my friend. "And Damien?"  
"hM?" He nervously replied.  
"Don't worry about it."  
"Bout what?" He squeaked.  
I sighed and clapped my hand on his shoulder, and looked him in the eye. "I'm a bit of a klutz too; these things happen."  
As I walked away, I shouted after him, "You better get going, you don't wanna be late!"


	2. Electric Boogaloo

~Damien POV~

"Hot lorrd, I'm turning into Randall," I muttered to myself as I finally got to the office.  
I'm honestly surprised that I even got out of the house. I would have probably forgotten all my things if Wes didn't put everything I need for the day by the front door, as was his adorable habit.  
I melted at the thought of Wes as I made my way to the office kitchen. I went to rub the sleep from my eyes but was stopped by hard plastic.  
Sonofagoose I forgot to put my contacts in. Aaaaand I spilled my coffee.  
"Hey, Damien." Shayne noticed my current state and started to help me clean up the mess. "Rough morning?"  
"You could say that."  
He chose not to push the matter and stopped me as I started to make another coffee. "Go sit down, I'll bring you your coffee." He tried to toss and catch a coffee pod, but he somehow managed to hit himself in the face with it.  
"Classic!" I said through a fit of giggles.  
"Shut your whore mouth, Damien." He joked, hurling a sugar packet at me and missing, which I reciprocated. "Did you eat breakfast?"  
He could tell from my glance from my seat that I definitely needed food.  
He handed me my coffee, along with a nasty ass protein bar and an apple as he said, "Come on, we have a meeting."  
I grumpily whined through a bite of the bar.  
"We're gonna be laaate...”  
"Fiiiiiine," I whined, adding an extra 'uh' at the end of the last syllable for extra defiance.

~Shayne POV~

Damien was being really weird. Like, weird for him, weird.  
He was super distracted, more exhausted than usual, and super apprehensive to everyone, including me.  
I had two theories, and I planned to test them out.  
After we got out of the meeting, of course.

"Hey, Damien."  
"Hey," he replied dejectedly.  
"How are Freya and Zelda?" I asked, since I already knew full damn well how he was.  
"The geese are fine, though I don't really get to see them because Wes keeps hogging them..."  
So it must be my second theory because he brought up Wes. I calculated my next move as I took a sip of water. "Speaking of the broken Terminator himself, how is Wes?"  
And I nailed my target. He went straight into Nervous DamienTM mode.  
"H-he's fine, why wouldn't he be fine, it's not like anything happened this morning. Heeey I just remembered I have to do something... over there... see ya!"  
Something happening with Wes this morning definitely made sense. I just have to figure out what happened this morning...

~Wes POV~

This morning was certainly... interesting. I gently traced my fingers across my lips, where his lips were mere hours ago.  
I shouted into one of my pillows in frustration. Why couldn't I stop thinking about him?  
I mean... I've always admired Damien and appreciated his talents, but I wrote it off as a man crush and not an actual crush.  
"What do you think, do you think I like, like-like Damien?"  
Freyja had already jumped off the bed after I screamed, my stuffed animals offered no response, and Zelda just demanded more head scratchies.  
I sighed. Normally I rant to Mari, but she's at work and this isn't a Mari matter.  
I sat bolt upright and gasped, "Courtney! She's the perfect person to talk to!"  
I leaned over to check my phone for the time, since I already scared away both geese.  
Lucky for me, it was only a few minutes until Smoffice lunchtime.

Me to Cornknee.  
Hey Court!

Cornknee to Me.  
whats up dood

Me to Cornknee.  
Can I tty in a few?

Cornknee to Me.  
ya ill call u @ lonch

Me to Cornknee.  
Thanks!  
*happy gif*

I hugged Teddy and waited for her to call. A few minutes later she called and I immediately picked up.

"Hey Courtney"  
"What's goin' on mah man?"  
"First off, are you in a secure location where you can have a private conversation?"  
"It doesn't get more secure than alone in my empty car."  
"Okay, good."  
"Is everything alright Wes?"  
"Ehn, but that's not the point! I need to know something important."  
"Shoot me."  
"Uh... I really don't know how to say it."  
"Just spit it out!"  
"How did you know you weren't exactly straight?"

"That's a heavy question, my dood."  
"Please. Just answer it."  
"There's no way to describe it-"  
"Please, try."  
"Because: A.) it's different for everyone, and B.) when you know, you know."  
"So... theoretically, if... I don't know... I couldn't stop thinking about a guy and how much I wanna kiss him... would that mean I might be a lil gay?"  
"Theoretically, I'd say you have it bad, and I would theoretically recommend theoretically telling him how you theoretically feel and theoretically going with it from there. Anything else?"  
"Nope, nothing, thanks CourtBourt, byeeeeee!"

I hung up the phone.  
"Well, fuck."

~Courtney POV~

"Well that was weird." I said as I got in my car.  
"What was weird?"  
"Oh, shit, Damien, I didn't see you there."  
"Sorry I really really need to talk to you and somebody said that you went to your car which is weird because you normally bring your food."  
"Get in the car Damien."

As we settled in the cool AC of my car, I could feel a repeat of my previous conversation coming.  
"What's up, Deem?"  
"Uh... uhm... sorry for this in advance... but how'd you know you were... y'know, not straight?"  
"Uuhhh it's different for everyone so all I can say is 'when you know, you know.' But if you have crush-like symptoms for another guy, it's a pretty sure sign."  
"Well I guess I'm gay now thanks Courtney bye."

"These idiots are in love with each other." I said to myself after Damimen left my car.


	3. It's Weslie, Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lil look at wes' "embrrassing" habit that he can't explain

_ ~~Flashback~~ _

_ ~Narrator POV~ _

_ In an LA Sephora, we see a certain pasty, silver-haired, tol bean. He looks confused and distressed as he looks for an employee. _

_ An employee sees our beloved hero and goes over to help him. _

_ "Hi, how can I help you?" _

_ "Um, with everything please." _

_ "Are you shopping for a gift or for yourself?" _

_ "Myself. I'm dipping my toe into the makeup world, so to speak..." _

_ We see her help him find a selection of makeup and ring him up at the register as we come away from the flashback. _

_ ~~Flashback Ends~~ _

  
  


~Wes POV~

I know I'm slipping into old habits, but this one's unfathomably hard to quit.

I don't know why, but sometimes, not all the time, nothing makes me happier than doing my hair and makeup and putting on a cute outfit.

This time I picked an ensemble of fishnet stockings, high-waisted short shorts, a crop top, and heeled booties.

I meticulously curled my hair in tiny curls and put on a matching flower crown.

Now for the makeup. Normally when you think of a guy doing makeup, you think of beauty guru style or drag queen style. But I like to keep it natural, so I do the basics (foundation, mascara, brows, and lips), some ˡ ᶦ ᵍ ʰ ᵗ contouring, and a whole lotta glow powder. Mama likes her glo, okay?

After I do the makeup I get to put on my outfit plus some earrings and a bracelet to complete the look.

...Then I lounge around the house because I would  **die** if anyone found out about this part of me.

Other than the people I shared this part of my life with, and maybe Damien.

_ Maybe _ .

At least the geese, Court, Mari, and Andrea like this part of me, because most of the time, I don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this update is so late, i don't really like this interface and sara/crystal and i have been busy. im working on chapter 6 atm and have stuff planned for future chapters so stay tuned. thanksgiving break is coming up soon so ill have time to work on this more!   
-Elie xoxox


	4. Honeysuckle, I'm Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after getting some ye olde shan-ye advice, damien makes a move

~Damien POV~

Everyone knew that I was having a bad day so they decided to let me leave work early.

But before I could leave I needed to talk to Shayne.

I pulled him aside after giving him the 'I need to talk to you now' look.

"What's up, man?"

"You know how I've been kinda off today?"

"Yeah...?"

"I wanna tell you why."

I could practically see his inner detective going 'Yes, finally'

"So this morning was supposed to normal but... _ something _ happened." I knew Shayne had a million questions in his head but he let me continue. "So... I kinda..." I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed as I finally spit it out, "tripped and fell this morning but Wes kinda caught me well I mean I fell on him and he broke my fall somehow even though I'm a hecking chonker of a man but anyways the point is..." I paused to catch my breath for a moment. "The point is... we accidentally kissed and I think I've secretly liked him for a long time and I can't function as a human being now." Now turning crimson, I buried my face in my hands.

"Well... that is not what I was suspecting." I groaned. He pulled my hands off my face, put his hands on my shoulders, and looked me in the eye. "But Damien, I'm really glad that you told me." And he pulled me into a quick hug.

"So what do I do now?"

"Get him flowers and Chinese food and tell him how you feel."

"Doesn't that seem like something you would do for a girl?"

"Yes, but #wesisaprettygirl and we all know that Wes loves flowers."

"He does, but wouldn't can't candy be easier?"

"Aren't you guys on a diet?"

"Shit, u rite, u rite. Soooooo get the Chinese food, get flowers, come home, tell him how I feel?"

"It's that simple," he said. "I think."

"Shayne?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, man. For everything."

"That's what friends are for, Damien."

We bro hugged and then I left on my quest.

~Wes POV~

I was lying on the couch, absent-mindedly twirling a strand of hair, scrolling on my phone, with a chick-flick on in the background (it was Kinky Boots, if you must know).

I was finally able to relax since Damien wouldn't be home for another few hours.

The geese were settled on the couch and Teddy, my teddy bear, was under my arm in a matching top and flower crown.

I heard someone walking up the building stairs and fumbling for their keys, but I knew I wouldn't have to confront my problems for another couple hours.

Then I heard the front door being unlocked.

"Fuck!"

Completely forgetting about my attire, I fumbled for the remote so I could change the channel to something normal.

"Hey Wes," his sultry voice slid in, "I know I'm home early, but I got Chinese and a surpri-" he and his honeyed voice stopped in their tracks as he saw me.

"Hey, Damien." I said quietly, turning bright red from my ears to my chest. I made a valiant effort of trying to hide myself behind a throw pillow.

"Um..." he meekly rubbed behind his neck with his mostly free hand, which was holding a bouquet.

My heart sank when I saw the flowers. They were probably for another girl. No, they were for **a** girl, not another one because I'm _ definitely _ NOT a girl, right?

He set the food on the table and came over and sat on the other side of the couch, still holding the flowers.

"Er... I like the look?"

"Thanks," I murmured back, still a vivid scarlet.

He paused for a moment, chewing his lip, unable to look at me. But I wouldn't be able to look at myself either.

"Uh, I got you flowers!" He finally said, handing the rather sizable bouquet to me.

"Y-y-you did?" I stuttered, taking and then smelling the fragrant bundle of flowers.

"I didn't know what kind of flowers you liked, so I took a chance on this one because it reminded me of you but if you don't like it I can get you another-"

I gently placed a finger on his lips and took a moment to admire the bouquet of various white flowers with a few lighter purple and yellow flowers sprinkled in for color. I happened to notice a few sprigs of my favorite flower, honeysuckle.

"Dames, it's perfect."

"And cat-friendly!"

I sighed and rested my head on my hand. "Is this about earlier today?" I paused to take a sip of my not-so-hot tea. "Because you don't have to make it up to me."

"I know, but I still want to." I started to respond, but this time he put a finger to my lips. "Bup! Let me finish, okay? This something made me realize morning." He paused and furrowed his brows for a moment. "I mean this morning made me realize something."

"I realized something too." I laced my fingers with one of his hands and gently cupped his face with my other hand. His breathing hitched when I started gently caressing his cheekbone with my thumb and locked eyes with him. "May I...?" I asked tentatively, letting him fill in the subtext.

He managed to get out a strangled "mhm-hm" with a pleading look.

I slowly leaned in and softly connected our lips, inhaling his warm scent.

He brought me closer with his free hand and then tangled it into my hair, massaging my scalp, which elicited a small moan on my part.

I unlaced our fingers and gently pulled him to where he was slightly on top of me.

He pulled back with a faint smirk hidden in his goofy grin as we momentarily caught our breath.

"Do you mind if we move this to my room?" I asked after finally being able to breathe.

"What are you suggesting, my dear Wesley?" He asked in a seductive tone.

I paused for a moment, tracing circles on the back of his neck, when I heard his breath hitch. Bingo. "I'm suggesting," I said in an appropriately seductive voice, "that we go back to my room..." I paused to raise an eyebrow and let the tension build as I continued to drive him crazy. "Make out—on my bed, of course..."

"Mhm-hm?"

"...see where that leads..." I continued in my seductive façade.

"Mhm-hmmm?"

"And then cuddle afterwards!" I finished in my normal, perky voice.

"Y-yeah, sounds good."

I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom (which I had fortunately cleaned hours before), trying to hide my shit-eating grin.

"Y'know, I was expecting this to be a lot messier." He stated as he glanced around my now tidy room.

"Oh, it will be."

"Oh, will it now?"

"By the time I'm done with you, yeah."

"Carry on, then, m'lady"

I realized that m'lady was the wrong term for me now. "That's m'lord to you, for now."

"Do you wanna...?"

"Can I change real quick? Cuz I feel real gross right now."

"Absolutely." He replied with a genuine, supportive smile.

I grabbed a pair of boxers (hey, if you're gonna dress like a chick, you might as well go all the way), darted into the en suite, changed into the boxers, wiped off the makeup, and sauntered into my room.

"There's my Wesley!"

"Hi."

He pecked me on the cheek and asked, "Do you wanna finish what we started or...?"

"Can we just cuddle? Because I have the weirdest ass feeling."

"That might be the dysphoria"

"The what?"

"Dysphoria, uhhhhhhh, it's kinda like where you feel uncomfortable in your own body? I'm guessing you might have minor gender/body dysphoria... I don't know just ignore me."

"Why would you think that?" I asked, genuinely curious if he might have some answers as to what's been going on with me.

"Nevermind. Just forget about it."

"No, please, I legit need answers to what's going on with me."

"Um, well, I'm not exactly an expert on LGBT etc. stuff but I've been able to pick up a few things." He waited for me to put on an oversized T-shirt because I suddenly got really self-conscious about my chest. "So gender dysphoria is something that people who aren't cis get." He noticed my confused expression and quickly explained, "cis is short for cisgender, meaning that you identify with the gender you're assigned at birth."

"Ohhhhhhhh."

"So it's entirely possible that you lie somewhere along the lines of gender fluidity or gender queerness—it's an actual term people happily embrace, not a slur—but I would recommend doing some research on your own."

"Don't really think that either of those fit me." I stated after a while.

He stopped stroking my curls and sat up. "I can go grab my laptop and help you explore your options if you want me to."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

He gave me a trademark Damien smile and ran off to get his laptop.

After a couple minutes, he flumped onto the bed next to me with his laptop.

"So I already pulled up the gender wiki—apparently that's a thing—and you can browse from here. I'm gonna go get us some plates of food."

Before he could get up, I gave him a short but sweet kiss. "Thank you, Damien."

"Well, that's what boyfriends are for." He said, blowing a kiss, and went to bring me some food.

~Damien POV~

I couldn't help but smile as I made my way to the kitchen.

It finally happened. We're finally together. Wes may be having an identity crisis but I know that everything will turn out fine, cheesy as it sounds.

"AH GEESE!"

"What?"

"THE FOOD'S COLD!"

"Dammit, Damien."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually have a list of the flowers in the bouquet damien gives wes, so lmk if yall want it.  
also i finally figured out how to format this closer to the way it appears in google docs so ill be going back and editing the format of the first three chapters (dont worry sara, ill keep your changes)  
also i only have one more completed chapter after this one (ch 5) and im working on ch 6  
im trying to space out these posts without leaving yall deprived. that is if anyone has been reading this haha  
okay talk is over, elie out


	5. Lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright bois this is the last chapter i have completed! atm im working on chapter six of this and two other AUs so it might be a while until yall get some fresh content

~~Wes POV~~

I felt sick. Like, sick to your stomach, sick. Nauseated beyond relief sick.

After literal hours of searching, I couldn’t find a term that fit me. Some descriptions were closer than others, but they just didn’t feel right.

I checked the time on my phone. 1:32 am

I’d been soul searching for well over four hours and came up with nothing.

It’s disheartening, to say the least.

I forced myself to close Damien’s laptop, stretched my stiff body, and rolled out of bed.

Damien would be asleep by now, but I needed comforting.

I shuffled to his room, rubbing my eyes. His lights were off, but I could see the faint glow of his TV through the small gap of the ajar doorway. 

“Damien?” I tentatively whispered, lightly knocking on the doorway. After receiving no answer, I pushed open the door.

I couldn’t help but smile. He passed out playing a game, controller still in hand. I carefully pried it from his grip, saved his progress, and turned off the TV.

“Hey, Damien?” I shook his shoulder with minimal strength. Nothing. 

“Damien, please.” I poked his cheek. Still, nothing.

I sighed and crawled into his bed, pulling him close.

“Damien,” I whispered as I started gently playing with his fluffy hair and kissed him just under his jawbone.

He lightly stirred.

I nuzzled him with my nose. “Damien...” I said in a sing-song voice.

He rolled over and grumbled.

“Hey.”

“Whuuuuut?” he grumpily murmured, his eyelashes fluttering.

“I feel like shit and need my boyfriend’s comfort?”

“What’s wrong babe?” he asked in a softer, half-asleep tone as he ruffled my hair.

“It’s hard to describe.”

“Do you wanna try talking about it or do you just want unconditional comforting?”

“Unconditional comfort, please.” I stated, curling up so he could easily hold me.

He held me as he stroked my hair and murmured words of encouragement to help me fall asleep.

~~Damien POV~~

I woke up in the arms of a massive dork-- no,  _ my _ massive dork.

H-sh-th- _ Wes _ needed comforting, and how could I say no to that face?

I spent ages holding them, telling them how amazing they were, complimenting them, playing with their hair, and softly kissing them every so often until I eventually cleared my throat and starting to sing this cute lullaby I found online:

_ Stars and moons and air balloons _

_ Fluffy clouds to the horizon _

_ I’ll wrap you in rainbows _

_ And rock you to sleep again _

_ Teddy bears of pink _

_ Ducks and lambs of white _

_ Don’t you cry dear I’m here now _

_ I’ll be you night light _

_ Stars and moons and air balloons _

_ Fluffy clouds to the horizon _

_ I’ll wrap you in rainbows _

_ And rock you to sleep again _

_ Smiles to cure the frowns _

_ Twirling and tumbling in laughter _

_ Someday life will always be _

_ Happily ever after _

_ Nevermore will the storms come _

_ To destroy your little world _

_ Nevermore will the waters rise _

_ ‘Til the mountains no longer _

_ Touch the skies _

_ Stars and moons and air balloons _

_ Fluffy clouds to the horizon _

_ I’ll wrap you in rainbows _

_ And rock you to sleep again _

_ I’ll wrap you in rainbows _

_ And rock you to sleep again _

Wes was happily asleep.

I mumbled “God, I love you. You and your stupidly adorable face,” and drifted into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lullaby is known as "derpy's lullaby" and was written by Jack Thatcher (Jitterbug Jive/Balddumborat) and the last bit of dialogue from damien was based off a prompt from one of my smoshcord friends (sorry i forgot your acc on here)  
-elie


	6. I Dun Goofed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wes wakes up and falls into a depression after losing control at breakfast.

~~Wes POV~~

_ Why does my back hurt? _

I rubbed my eyes and stretched, only to hear disgruntled cat noises.

Oh. 

Did I…

Did we…

I rolled out of bed--his bed. I racked my brain for memories of last night, shuffling towards the smell of breakfast as the sleep delirium wore off.

“Hey, sleepyhead. How’d you sleep?”

“Judging by the crick in my neck, well, but not without consequences.”

“I’m sorry to hear that babe,” he paused to ruffle my hair and give my cheek an affectionate smooch. “I’m almost finished making breakfast, k?”

“K.”

I dragged myself away from him and slid into a chair at the weird lil island our kitchen had for some reason. 

He placed a plate and a mug of coffee, [MY FAVORITE COFFEE, AN ETHICALLY SOURCED COFFEE THAT COMES IN TWO BLENDS AND A COLD BREW. WE ALSO SELL MUGS! MY FAVORITE COFFEE: WE PROMISE IT’S NOT TRASH] just the way I like it, then placed his mug and plate next to mine. He grabbed the silverware, closed the drawer with a hip bump, and span into the spot next to me at the breakfast bar.

“Somebody’s happy today,” I commented, digging into my omelet.

“How could I not be!? I’m the luckiest man in the world!”

“Is that so?”

“I just feel bad for the poor sap that’s stuck with having me for a boyfriend,” he quipped.

“Don’t be,” I replied, my voice suddenly became husky, and something inside of me changed.

~~Damien POV~~

Wes’ normally soft gaze shifted to something harsher, darker. A steely look that could bore through your soul. Almost reminiscent of a more primitive aspect of him. His fists were balled, his jaw was clenched, and his breathing was somehow angrier.

He grabbed my collar and looked me dead in my eyes.  _ “Don’t. Ever. Apologize. For. Existing.” _

I looked at him with what I could only imagine to be a mixture of fear and concern, as tears welled up in my eyes.

_“I’m gonna love you no matter what. Got it?”_

With that last word, he let go of me and gently pushed me away from him as he beelined to his room, his omelet largely untouched.

I sat back in disbelief. I’d never seen that side of him before.

I just hoped he was okay.

~~Wes POV~~

I fled to my room as quickly as I could without running.

I hate it whenever my temper takes over.

Yes, I do have a temper. I try to keep it in control for obvious reasons.

And now I’ve gone and messed everything up.

Because I couldn’t control myself, I hurt Damien.

I covered my face with my hands as I sank down the back of my door and started to sob.

And with the anger came the accompanying depressive episode.

And the depression brings the lovely gift of dissociation.

I sit, numbly crying, waiting for something to happen while my mind drifts to another place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive given up on formatting lol. also! sorry for not updating for so long! this is all i have so far, but I do want to (eventually) continue this. i have another completed one shot i did for smoshblr secret santa 2019 that ill be publishing soon. im gonna put this on hiatus so I can work on another wamien au, but please bully me into writing more if i don't publish for a month or two.  
-elie


End file.
